little me

so

how am i doing with my exercise goals

(besides a little tiny mishap with my foot)

good

i've been really consistent to going to my mwf running group

eating okay

tuesday thursday i'm still working on

so all and all i'm doing good.

not sure if i'm make it to the nike half this year (purchasing a ticket on craiglist)

but there is always

next year.

i'm learning

i need to be easier on myself and my expectations need to come down

i do have three kids

and i'm definitely not perfect.

exercise does help to relieve the stress and help me sleep and doctors orders to help my bones.

life is not about me

and God has so much in store for us.

i'm seeing so clearly lately.

we stepped out in faith and are having a bible study here at the house each week and it's been so amazing. so encouraging. more than we could ever ask for. we have five couples that come (give or take a couple each week) and it couldn't be a better group of people to... before signing up i thought "what if" the kids don't go to bed "what if" i can't get the house together "what if" no one comes, but the kids are going to bed just fine, the house gets put together and people are coming, searching and growing.

so cool.

why?

why does a child whose completely exhausted not go to sleep at night? please someone explain this to me. we are SO consistent with our oldest who is almost seven and he still can't calm himself down after a full day. i mean full, soccer, playing, walking down to the school running, playing, walking back. it just makes no logical sense to us and it's frustrating. we are hoping the new doctor at the end of the month can help assist us further. we love our oldest so much we just want to help him. things just don't measure up. it's a lonely process getting help for him. on the outside he looks perfectly normal, but internally there is a fire ragging.

all these matters should be talked about with close friends to have support to get support. instead, we are judged by the actions the outward display of the fire within. honestly, is it unreasonable to request others just to love and care. genuinely. can't we get a break here. we are trying our very best and with God's help displaying the utmost love, but some days like today i just want answers. i want to know "why" a child can't just calm down, relax, enjoy the small precious things the world has to offer.

prayer. we can pray and you can to; for wisdom, patience, strength and love.

~shelly